Resolving Conflict in Marriage

Highly effective marriages are the result of more than just Compatibility and Commitment. Marriage Conflict Management skills are vital. Difference of opinions will always exist but how you handle Conflict in Marriage is what counts.


How Best do You Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage?

When there is conflict in a marriage, to resolve the conflict successfully, both you and your partner should have the right and privilege to state clearly and completely your views, feelings and reasons without any interruption.

If you and your spouse want to be successful in resolving your marriage conflict amicably, you require a “partnership” approach and the confidence of being able to face the problems together as a Couple. “Establish a supportive partnership in which the husband never forces the wife to obey but wisely provides tender leadership that encourages the wife to follow.” According to a study from the University of California, it suggests that Couples who say “we” “our” and “us” in reference to themselves all the times are better able to resolve conflicts than those couples who emphasized their “separateness” by the use of words such as “I”, “Me” and “You in their vocabulary and were most strongly linked to unhappy marriages.

Therefore, the best marriage conflict resolution tips include, choosing the best time to resolve the conflict, staying focused on the subject of discussion with out relating to past matters likely to fuel up the conflict, hearing the other person without interference and moving towards resolution with readiness to apologise. The words ‘I’m sorry’ are the toughest words for most couples to say. But learn to say them when you need to. Admitting that you were wrong can have a powerful, positive effect on the resolving the conflict in your marriage and the conversations that follows.

Healthy Conflict Resolution is a key to a happy marriage. As a couple aim to create an environment in which reconciliation about conflict in marriage and marriage problems in general can be discussed and resolved.

If you found this article helpful, consider to Subscribe to Lusaka blog by Email

Read More

Free Valentines Day Love Gift Ideas

Celebrate Valentines Day with a difference. Get free Valentines ideas for a memorable Valentine’s Day.


Valentines Day is a day of celebrating Love and affection between intimate companions. It is a day on which lovers express their Love for each other.

To express an idea or feeling, you show what you think or feel about someone by saying it out or doing something to show it. To successfully celebrate the spirit of love you require the right words to say what you mean and the right actions to express your love. You need the right Valentine present

During my search for the right gift ideas for valentine and how to celebrate valentines I came across the holidayspot.com and my dearvalentine.com.with wonderful collection of love greetings best suited for valentine and other valentine messages.

If you are looking for ideas on how to express your love this valentine then I have given you an idea where to start from.

Read More

Get Ready For Marriage through Muvi TV.

Marriage TV reality shows really take viewers by storm. Muvi TV Ready for Marriage reality show has proved to be an effective marriage education show.


Designed on the common concept of reality shows, ready for marriage brings together women in relationships who feel ready for marriage and ready to showcase to their boyfriends, fiancés and the viewers their readiness for marriage. For months, participants go through ready for marriage quiz like questions and tests in form of tasks to determine whether they are ready for marriage. The interaction by the viewers through text messaging and voting even adds more value to the show.

The one hour show which was first presented by Zambia’s renowned comedian and actor Augustine lungu saw Master Chimbala presenting season two of the show while Augustine lungu remains the producer.

From the survey conducted, ready for marriage reality show has great following not only among youths and teens but dedicated lovers, devoted husbands, wives and many others in relationships.

One married couple; speaking amid smiles, thanked Muvi TV for the innovative idea of ready for marriage reality show. “Its like a self ready for marriage test to determine whether you are ready or you not ready for marriage.”

The increased economic clout of women and changing social attitudes towards marriage, which is no longer as necessary for either gender, have kept an increasing number of Zambians single.

But for those who have a special someone in their lives, marriage programs such as the “ready for marriage reality show” will certainly give their relationships a boost.

“I feel refreshed after watching the show; I am reminded of the time when I was preparing to get married.” said a 32 year old man. “I was always wondering whether there are signs to show that a man or woman is ready for marriage.”

One woman, who said she was unmarried, confessed that she loved the show. “It helps couples know more about marriage, how to know  you are ready for marriage and also know the signs for a partner who is ready for marriage.”

It is hoped that young couples can find value in marriage programmes such as “ready for marriage” which add value to family life and the institution of marriage.

Read More

Police Urged to Nab Brutal Kasama Hubby.

Kasama, Government authorities in Luwingu have asked the police in the district to quickly arrest the man who brutally battered his wife and later burnt her private parts with a piece of firewood.
Luwingu District Commissioner, George Mwamba, has since condemned the man, who is on the run, for barbaric action.

Mr Mwamba said it was inhuman for the husband to beat up his wife and cause grievous bodily harm as a result of a marital dispute.

He urged the police to intensify their manhunt for the suspect identified as Amos Kanswe Sumpa so that he could be prosecuted for his violent act.

The DC told ZANIS in an interview that his administration was ready to provide transport to enable police flash out the suspect wherever he is hiding and bring him to justice.

Mr Mwamba warned people against taking the law into their own hands, saying those found wanting would be prosecuted.

He further urged law enforcement agencies to deal firmly with perpetrators of gender-based violence in order to stamp out the vice in communities.

Recently, a 28-year-old housewife of Luwingu was brutally battered by her husband, who later burnt her private parts using a live piece of wood.

The incident happened on New Year’s Day in Sumpa village in Chief Tungati’s area.

The injured woman, who was admitted to Luwingu District Hospital, has since been discharged and is recovering from home.

However, the suspect ran away soon after assaulting his wife.

Both police sources and mother of the victim, Rachael Chomba, confirmed the incident to ZANIS recently.

ZANIS

Read More

4 Steps to Prevent a Divorce in Marriage.

Many unhappily married couples rush into saying “I want a divorce” Is divorce the wise course? More important, what are the solutions if any to prevent a divorce?


“Any house or building which is neglected over the years, after weathering many storms, the structure becomes fragile and collapse seems imminent. But after assessing the damage, the owners have a choice- either to tear down the house or save it or improve it”.

If your marriage seems fragile and a divorce seems imminent, what steps should you take to stop your divorce?

In this article, I will suggest to you four simple steps how you can solve your marital problems to prevent a divorce in marriage.

Make a resolve to prevent your divorce.

Just like the owners of a neglected house acknowledge that their house is in a poor condition, and decide to restore it. You also need to agree with your mate that you have a problem and you will work together to restore peace in your marriage. When both you and your spouse are not committed, preventing divorce becomes impossible.

Identify the causes of the problem

What are the grounds for your decision to divorce? What has interfered with your marriage? Is it constant arguing, bitter speech, Infidelity or resentment? Perhaps your spouse has betrayed your trust or reoccurring conflicts have sapped the joy from your relationship and you telling yourselves “we just aren’t meant for each other” or “we didn’t know what we were doing when we got married.” So together with your spouse identify what you think is lacking in your relationship and things you wish could change.

Set goals in preventing divorce.

Where would you like your marriage to be seven months down the line? What specific improvements would you like to see in your marriage? It is often said that “failure to prepare is preparation for failure”. When you have a clear vision as to what you need in your marriage your goal will be easier to attain other wise you will be preparing for divorce.

Seek advice.

Once you have identified your problems and determined the improvements you would like to make, work towards the goals you set and seek marriage advice. Ask yourself this question “how does divorce affect me?” Get facts about the effects of divorce on your children, your finances and parenting problems related to divorce this will give a resolve and drive to prevent a divorce.
If you found this post helpful, consider to Subscribe to Lusaka blog by Email

Read More

Archives

February 2010

11:02 Resolving Conflict in Marriage.
08:02 Free Valentines Day Love Gift Ideas.
08:02.Get Ready For Marriage through Muvi TV.
03:02 Police Urged to Nab Brutal Kasama Hubby.
03:02 4 Steps to Prevent a Divorce in Marriage
01:02. Marriage and Love Questions Couples Ask.
01:02. Building Healthy Romantic Relationships.

January 2010.

25:01. Mungwi Cheating Woman Saved.
04:01. Cheating Hubby Justifies his Infidelity
04:01. Excessive Sexual Drive Costs Man Marriage.

December 2009.

23:12. Love, Marriage and Friendship Quotes.
23:12. Simple Ways to Tell a Child on Drugs.
21:12. Little Known Dating and Relationship Tips.
13:12. 3 Proven Reasons For High Infidelity in Men.
09:12. How to Help an Alcoholic Partner.

November 2009

26:11. Love Lessons From Michelle Obama’s Advice
22:11. Christian Sex Education &Sexuality Issues.
12:11. Secrets of Making Long Distance Relationships Work.
20:11. Minister Calls for Stiffer Laws on Pornography.
12:11. Difficult Times and Hard Times in Marriage.
09:11. Stress Free Relationship Learning Through Books.
08:11. 5 Good Benefits of Being Married.
06:11. Mariah Carey Talks of Her Abusive Relationship
03:11. Obama’s Give Hint of Tough Times In Their Marriage.
02:11. Where to Find Pregnancy Tips to Ease Your Marriage.
01:11. 4 Reasons to Avoid Age Difference Relationships.

October 2009.

19:10. South African Man Weds Four in One Wedding.
18:10. Don’t Think of Divorce Until You Read This.
17:10. Top Online Christian Singles Dating Sites.
15:10. Learn How to Save Personal Money and Family Finance.
14:10. 7 Success Secrets For a Successful Family.
13:10. Proven Tips For Protecting a Child from Pornography.
03:10. Furny, Flirty Short Love Text Massages.
01:10. Early Marriages and Teen Pregnancies Worries Councillor.
01:10. How to Improve Communications Skills in Relationships.

September 2009.

29:09. Woman Cancels Wedding After Finding Fiancé Was Porn Star.
21:09. Britain’s Longest Married Couples Secret.
14:09. How Compatible Are You With Your Partner?
13:09. How to Identify Co dependence in a Relationship.
10:09. Man Picked for Murder of Pregnant Wife.
07:09. Quick Test For Emotional Abuse in Relationships.

August 2009.

31:08. Boy 10 Faces Murder Charge in Dads Death.
29:08. Top Christian Marriage and Relationship Blogs.
24:08. Reasons Women Stay With Men Who Cheat.
21:08. Choosing a Marriage Partner Research Findings.
16:08. Man Kills Lover After Failing to Pay For Sex.
11:08. Man Accused of Relationship with Stepdaughter.
10:08. What Parents Must Know About Child Discipline & Abuse.

July 2009.

28:07. Can Relationships of Religious Difference work?.
28:07. Teacher Deregistered Over Relationships.
22:07. Lost Love Letter Reunites Couple After 16 Years.
14:07. Proven Ways of Dealing with a Break up.
13:07. Learn The Art of Forgiving and Forgetting .

June 2009.

22:06. How to Save a Relationship in 5 Steps.
17:06. Why go For Relationship Counceling?
16:06. The Real Reasons Why Most Marriages Fail.

Read More

Marriage And Love Questions Couples Ask

Today’s article talks about the common relationship and love questions which couples ask before marriage as well as other serious questions for married couples.


Marriage is a social union or a legal contract between individuals, the act of marriage creates legal obligations between the individuals involved. Therefore any couple contemplating marriage or merely dating ask questions in an effort to understand what marriage is and what to expect from marriage.

1. One very common premarital question couples ask is; should I get married? If so, what are the reasons to get married? If you are in a similar situation, then in order for you to answer the questions correctly you need to understand what marriage is and what constitutes a marriage in order to know some of the benefits of marriage as well as the negative side of marriage and find out why some marriages fail. You also find out what goes right in relationships which succeed. This will greatly help you in answering your premarital questions and determining your readiness for marriage as well as improve your marriage preparations.

2. What are the right characteristics of a good marriage partner? A person’s character is of almost importance to the success of any relationship. However what may be considered the right characteristics among Americans may not the same among Africans. I have a detailed article on choosing a right partner to help you answer any of your questions on the subject of choosing a good wife.

3. What is the right age to marry and At what age can you get married; The acceptable average marriage age differs from one society to another if you have unanswered questions about what age you should get married or the right age of partner to marry then this article about age difference issues will give you good advice regarding age.

4. What would you say if your partner asked you this question, “how can I tell you that I love you?” of course it may be a surprise and you may not know how best to be told. It is for this reason that I put together a collection of love messages to help you express you love including the funny and flirty ones for those lighter moments in your relationship.

5. The most asked questions by couples in marriage are how do I make my relationship better and how do I save my marriage? This is an indication that relationships have good as well as bad times. The best way to better your failing relationship is through marriage counselling these are some of the articles which can help you better your relationship as well as save it, articles such as 7 secrets of a successful family, how to save a relationship in five steps and other useful resources on this site.

6. How do I get out from an abusive relationship? Emotional abuse in marriage and love relationships are a reality even celebrities such as Mariah Carey admits emotional abuse exists. When hopes of bettering a relationship begin to die out, couples often begin to ask questions on how to end a relationship. This article on emotional abuse outlines the details about emotional abuse and how best you can deal with it.

7. How do I get my wife to love me again? In times of betrayal and disappointment most couples find it hard to love again and often ask how. No matter how painful the situation may be but forgiving and forgetting is the best way. The article brings out the power of forgiveness in relation to healing of broken hearts.

8. How do I get over a relationship? Getting over a failed relationship is not as easy as it may sound. This detailed article on dealing with a break up will give you the advice, tips and hints to deal with a break up.

If you are a couple and have serious questions about love which are not among this list of common questions couples ask, then feel free to ask questions and if you found this post useful consider subscribing  posts by email.

Read More

Building Healthy Romantic Relationships

The definition of a healthy and romantic relationship may not be the same for each couple. Couples seeking relationship improvement and building of healthy relationships need adequately evaluate the relationship first to determine whether the relationship is healthy or unhealthy and whether the relationship needs improvement. The following are qualities of a healthy relationship.


Qualities of healthy relationships.

Both partners in a healthy relationship enjoy passion and safety. There is also a shared sense of intense passion and sexuality but they are not the key aspect of the relationship. In other word, passion and sexuality are the resultant of a balance relationship but not the cause.

Shared Values.

A healthy relationship revolves around shared values, goals and lifestyle preferences which were established based on respect, trust and sense of security.

Understanding each others needs.

In a healthy relationship, partners know who the other partner is and what the other partner wants and vice-versa. Partners fully understand each others wants and needs.

Good Communication.

In a healthy relationship there is always clear balance in both partners’ feelings. Both your feelings’ and communication are well balanced and clear. You do not allow your feeling to be the excuse on irresponsible act which can affect your relationship and vice-versa.

Independence

In a healthy relationship both you and your partner has the room to think clearly for yourselves, for each other and as well as your relationship as a whole there is no total dependency.

Spending Quality time Together.

In a healthy relationship, both you and your partner are present for each other and vow to support each other’s wants or needs to the best ability.

Satisfaction and Contentment.

If you are in a healthy and romantic relationship you are satisfied with whom you are and more importantly you are satisfied with whom your partner is.

Total Pride and acceptance of one another.

In a healthy relationship partners do not hide the other behind the scene and are always proud of each others achievements. Partners Love each other for who they are and not what they are.

Total responsibility for success and failures

In a healthy relationship both partners are pleased with the relationship that they both build and know that nothing can replace the relationship and take collective credit for successes and failures.

Realistic expectations.

In a healthy relationship you have a realistic expectation on the relationship, on what it can or cannot do for you and never expecting too much most importantly both of you are happy and satisfied with the expectation.

If your relationship has most of the above qualities, you are on the right track towards building a healthy and romantic relationship and you have nothing worry about. Seek to work on improving the other area that is lacking. But if your relationship does not have most of these qualities then you can always use the above as a guideline to building a health and romantic relationship.
If you would like to receive similar posts consider to Subscribe to Lusaka blog by Email

Read More