Important reasons behind cheating -Infidelity in Marriage Relationships, and how to revitalise your Relationship to prevent-stop your spouse from Cheating.
Marital Infidelity is cited as the cause of many divorce cases and marriage break up. Infidelity is a resoundingly male trait. According to a BBC survey men are twice more likely to cheat than women, with one in five admitting to have strayed and a quarter saying they would if there was no chance of being caught. Another survey found that over one in 10 grooms had broken their wedding vows within a year.
But why can’t men rely on the noble higher emotions-one love-to over come the trait?
The Science suggests otherwise, there is evidence that the sight of an attractive woman alters the way men feel about there partners. An evolutionary psychologist at Arizona State University Douglas Kenrick, found that when men are shown pictures of naked women they immediately describe themselves as less in love with their wives. “The woman represents a gene-spreading opportunity and the wife is an obstacle.”
Further evidence that love isn’t part of a grand design for male monogamy comes from recent evidence that LOVE-the glue that’s supposed to hold couples together doesn’t last long in men making them prawn to infidelity. Researchers at the University of Pavia in Italy found that the chemical changes which trigger romantic love last only 12 months, then its all polite chit chat about weather and fights over the remote control and TV programmes. In fact researchers at Guy’s and St Thomas hospital in London claim to have found the set of genes responsible for infidelity.
Apart from our genes, the other reason for Infidelity in men is our ego-the opinion of what you are worthy. “In my experience many men have affairs to be reassured that they’ve still got it.” Says Miller founder of www.lovinglinks.com a website where people hook up for extramarital affairs.
Beyond our genes and egos, one simple reason for Infidelity is simply sex addiction. “As well as releasing endorphins and adrenaline, sex with a new partner releases oxytocins-a chemical that makes you feel excited, and some men just get hooked.” Says Janice Hiller.
“There certainly are flashpoints in relationships which can make extra marital affairs more likely. “Says Janice Hiller. In addition to genes, ego and sexual addiction. “These are when one partner feels sidelined and rejected, perhaps by a baby or their partner’s new job.”
“Affairs are not inevitable,” says Miller “for many men they’re a cry for help often it’s as if they want to get caught because that forces discussion about what’s wrong with the relationship.”
Get Talking.
A better option is to tackle the problem “If you’re contemplating an affair, something is not right in your relationship and you need to address that,” says Dr Monica Whitty, lecturer of psychology at Queen’s University Belfast.
A psychologist Dr Lisa Matthew man says this talk should tackle the uncomfortable territory. According to Matthew man, on the contrary it’s not fancying other people that causes cheating but keeping our feelings secret from our partners that create the right environment for cheating. “The best way to reduce the chances of extra marital affairs is to discuss your feelings.” Says Matthew man. “Keeping your desires secret makes them more exciting but openly discussing your feeling brings some reality. However, it requires emotional maturity, but it can prevent the pain of Infidelity.
Limit your opportunities.
Another strategy is to limit your opportunities. Cut back on over time and social time spent without your partner to avoid the temptation. About one third of Love cheats meet their mistresses at the office of social clubs. “Continued interaction and bonding can generate feelings of closeness that spills over in to affairs.” Says Matthew man. “If you are avoiding going home because your relationship is boring, break the pattern by doing more spontaneous, fun things with your partner.” Says Hiller.
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