We normally hear so much about what goes wrong in Relationships and Families that fail. But what do you think goes right in those that thrive? What healthy steps do they take? What is relationship success about? The following are the seven secrets to family and marriage success.
Secret 1: The right priorities.
In successful marriages, each spouse puts the other’s needs ahead of self, possession, job, friends, and even other relatives. Husband and wife spend plenty of time with each other and with the children. Both are willing to make sacrifices for the interests of the family and work towords a successful family.
Secret 2: Commitment.
Successful couples view their marriage as a permanent union. When a problem arises, they strive to solve it rather than use it as an excuse to abandon the marriage. When spouses have a sense of commitment, they feel secure. Each trusts that the other will continue to honour the union which is an important attribute to a good marriage.
Secret 3: Team work.
Successful couples respect God’s headship arrangement as out lined in the bible. Nevertheless, both husband and wife view their marriage in terms of “ours” and “we” rather than “mine” and “me”. If you and your spouse are not a team minor events my quickly become major issues with each of you attacking the other rather than the problem at hand. Teamwork means that you are pilot and co-pilot with the same flight plan. “Two are better than one.....if one of them fall, the other one can raise his partner up.”
Secret 4: Respect.
Both troubled and successful families have disagreements. But successful families discuss matters without resorting to sarcasm, insults, and other forms of abusive speech. “Let all.....screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you.”
Secret 5: Reasonableness.
In successful families, husbands and wives make allowances for each other’s mistakes. They are also neither unduly rigid nor overly permissive with their children. They set a modest number of household rules. When correction is needed, they it “to the proper degree” God himself does not demand perfection from imperfect humans, so why should a married couple demand it from each other? Nitpicking over minor faults only produces resentment, not improvement. It is best to accept the fact that “we all stumble many times.”
Secret 6: Forgiveness.
Successful couples learn from the past; but they do not keep track of old grievances and then use these to make sweeping assertions, such as “You are always late” or “You never listen” Both husband and wife believe that “it is beauty to pass over transgression.” God is “ready to forgive,” but that is not always so with humans. Old wrongs left unresolved can produce layers of resentment that accumulate to the point where forgiveness seems impossible. Each spouse may retreat into an emotional corner-each one remaining callous to the other’s feelings. Both feel trapped in a loveless marriage.
Secret 7: A firm foundation.
Strong relationships and families do not endure automatically, clear success steps need to be taken to strengthen the friendship, any more than a house just keeps standing for many decades. A solid structure needs a firm foundation, and the same is true of a strong family. Successful families are built on a source of guidance that works. With a firm scriptural foundation, your family can withstand the storms that threaten it.
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